I am my own worse enemy.
There is nobody I know who criticises me, more than myself. This is the realisation that has dawned on me over the past few weeks. I am very critiical of myself. To the point I have put my children's book manuscripts away and not sent them out to anybody for over a year - maybe two.
But, how can I become a published author if I never send my manuscipts out? Is it because I am scared of them being judged and I don't think I want to know that my hard work is not good enough for publication?
I try to console myself by remembering that the rejection letters I had in the past were all very positive. But, then I remember I was told, by a very good friend of mine, I should throw all the rejection letters in the bin - positive or not - because it is very bad karma to keep them. I moved them to the attic, unable to part with them.
So, I dug out my favourite manuscript and started to re-read it and was pleasantly surprised. It's rather good even if I do say so myself. But, then I closed down all the files and it is hidden away again. What the hell am I doing?
You know, my problem - I am scared of success.