Saturday, October 13, 2007

Next Move

I am my own worse enemy.

There is nobody I know who criticises me, more than myself. This is the realisation that has dawned on me over the past few weeks. I am very critiical of myself. To the point I have put my children's book manuscripts away and not sent them out to anybody for over a year - maybe two.

But, how can I become a published author if I never send my manuscipts out? Is it because I am scared of them being judged and I don't think I want to know that my hard work is not good enough for publication?

I try to console myself by remembering that the rejection letters I had in the past were all very positive. But, then I remember I was told, by a very good friend of mine, I should throw all the rejection letters in the bin - positive or not - because it is very bad karma to keep them. I moved them to the attic, unable to part with them.

So, I dug out my favourite manuscript and started to re-read it and was pleasantly surprised. It's rather good even if I do say so myself. But, then I closed down all the files and it is hidden away again. What the hell am I doing?

You know, my problem - I am scared of success.


Wilf said...

Dig it out, do some research and send it off - you know you should. See you in Winchester.x

Anita Marion Loughrey said...

I took your advice and sent the first few chapters for the Winchester appraisal.